As Y’A illustrated, lesbians cannot be trusted when it comes to ‘JUST FRIENDS’ on OKCupid. I decided to try my hand at Meetup.com (of the lesbian sisterhood variety) to increase my posse of lesbians because right now we are rolling with me, Y'A and another friend who would do anyone. I promptly RSVP’d for a Sunday Brunch excursion. The brunch itself is nothing to write home about; there was lots of French toast and awkward conversation. Nice bunch of ladies and I wasn’t attracted to a single one! Victory – I might make a platoniclesbianfriend yet. One chick arrived late and looked about my age; we struck up a conversation (she struck up a conversation and I listened) and it was pleasant. As we were all leaving, the tardy chick and I randomly decided to go to a farmer’s market down the road. We both mentioned seeing it and had planned to stop by, so why not arrive there at the same time and make more pleasant conversation amongst the corn and tomatoes? We discussed a mutual affection for hiking (platonic), dogs (platonic), cooking (platonic), then she threw out a very non-committal invitation for dinner at her new house (platonic??). We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. Over the next month or so she would randomly call and chat me up, nothing too unusual, normal work complaints, renovation plans for her new house, the hard-core dyke theatre troupe she was a part of - the conversations were not flirtatious, though we both mentioned exes and that we were currently single. I couldn’t quite figure out where this rambling mess was headed. We didn’t hang out. She was EXTREMELY formal on text, like using my government, and so I was surprised when she invited me to a show. Dinner and a show to be exact. There is no reason why two lesbians can’t hang out and have dinner and see a show and wait . . . did I mention several of her theatre friends would be at the show? They are lesbians and we all know how lesbians think when they see their lesbian friend with a new chick……fuck. I foraged ahead, ate some delicious authentic tacos with her and really enjoyed the water dancing play set in a pool.
AFTER “DATE” – She introduces me to her friends, one I recognize from other lives, and I shift nervously as I try to read the situation. They are looking at me, sizing me up LIKE I'M HER DATE. The friend I recognize is flirtatious. I reciprocate. I don't really know the non-date date protocol of flirting with her friend. I’m jerking my head back and forth like a crack addict trying to figure out who I should smile at or who I should ignore. At this point, I hope we are still JUST FRIENDS by the end of the night.
The ride home in her car was excruciating. I was feeling like I broke some code of conduct, but she was talking talking talking and I’m trying to figure how I should play it and exit with no body contact. We drove around a bit, discussed her artwork, she showed me her new house (from the outside people), and finally we pulled up at my apartment. I have honestly blocked out how I got out of her car. I probably mumbled something about texting her later or next week or let’s hang out soon. The moral of the story is – if you’re trying to find friendship with the same pool of folks you’d bang, things can get a bit sticky. Just sayin’.
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