Long before I knew Manti Te'o existed, Jess and I determined that everyone lies on the interweb. Let's go with the premise he was duped [he wasn't, but for shits and giggles, let's play pretend]. I can easily see how he could fall for some of these lies.
Sometime in 2011, Jess and I decided to prove the interweb lie theory in what we will call The OKCupid Chronicles. This was no uncertain charge. The scientific method was referenced, an IRB convened (don’t ask me for names and affiliations, it’s all on the up and up) and we established a criteria for the women we engaged. Between the two of us we had Baltimore and New York as our representative sample. It was perfect. We could cast a wide net of lesbian crazy to test. We wrote impeccable and HONEST profiles following our criteria. We agreed upon a few ground rules: no one of extremely short stature for Jess and no one trying out for the WNBA for me, no one who directly and specifically referenced drugs, and no one looking for casual sex. Everything else was pretty much fair game. This was a no bullshit test and this is the way it went.
Interminable amounts of time were spent perusing OKCupid profiles. We’d read the litany of wonderful things lesbians were doing, what they liked and what they were into. We only engaged the person by asking them about something they actually wrote in their profile. This, we concluded, must be the best way to a woman’s heart. Engage her with shit she already told us she liked! Simple, easy, and I should have been up to my neck in dates. Yeah right. After about a month, we determined women don’t actually want to date. Sure the profiles professed a great interest and want to meet the right woman, share intimate moments, build a life/relationship/family/house. What they actually want is to be desired. The more women I messaged with something as simple as ‘what is your favorite John Cusack movie?’ [their alleged favorite actor], the more silence I got. When women actually did respond to the pointed questions we would ask, it was basically to clarify that the information we had [meaning their profile, written by them, we could only assume] was incorrect and they were not Mets fans who love Tegan and Sara at all. Oh right, that was my profile, the one that was ME.
So the OKCupid Chronicles will offer you a front row seat to (almost) every email exchange, IM, awkward text messages, and dare I say-the dates we actually went on.
Disclaimer – this was all done on the up and up. We never lied to anyone. We had genuine interest in every fringe activity and raw foods fad and hot yoga place these chicks proclaimed to be interested in. Given our thoughtful messaging, I think we were more interested than they were. This experiment was undertaken in the name of science to prove that everyone lies. Except us of course…
Sometime in 2011, Jess and I decided to prove the interweb lie theory in what we will call The OKCupid Chronicles. This was no uncertain charge. The scientific method was referenced, an IRB convened (don’t ask me for names and affiliations, it’s all on the up and up) and we established a criteria for the women we engaged. Between the two of us we had Baltimore and New York as our representative sample. It was perfect. We could cast a wide net of lesbian crazy to test. We wrote impeccable and HONEST profiles following our criteria. We agreed upon a few ground rules: no one of extremely short stature for Jess and no one trying out for the WNBA for me, no one who directly and specifically referenced drugs, and no one looking for casual sex. Everything else was pretty much fair game. This was a no bullshit test and this is the way it went.
Interminable amounts of time were spent perusing OKCupid profiles. We’d read the litany of wonderful things lesbians were doing, what they liked and what they were into. We only engaged the person by asking them about something they actually wrote in their profile. This, we concluded, must be the best way to a woman’s heart. Engage her with shit she already told us she liked! Simple, easy, and I should have been up to my neck in dates. Yeah right. After about a month, we determined women don’t actually want to date. Sure the profiles professed a great interest and want to meet the right woman, share intimate moments, build a life/relationship/family/house. What they actually want is to be desired. The more women I messaged with something as simple as ‘what is your favorite John Cusack movie?’ [their alleged favorite actor], the more silence I got. When women actually did respond to the pointed questions we would ask, it was basically to clarify that the information we had [meaning their profile, written by them, we could only assume] was incorrect and they were not Mets fans who love Tegan and Sara at all. Oh right, that was my profile, the one that was ME.
So the OKCupid Chronicles will offer you a front row seat to (almost) every email exchange, IM, awkward text messages, and dare I say-the dates we actually went on.
Disclaimer – this was all done on the up and up. We never lied to anyone. We had genuine interest in every fringe activity and raw foods fad and hot yoga place these chicks proclaimed to be interested in. Given our thoughtful messaging, I think we were more interested than they were. This experiment was undertaken in the name of science to prove that everyone lies. Except us of course…
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