Are You Ok?

I would like to lead the campaign to remove the words "Are you OK?" from the American female lexicon. 90% of the time it is used inappropriately. I will give you an example. An appropriate use of the question "Are you OK?" would come immediately after a child or an elderly person fell. Appropriate. An inappropriate use of the question "Are you OK?" is after a period of silence and or an absence, unless during that period of silence/absence there was a news report of my injury, death or arrest.  Rest assured, I am definitely OK. The problem with the question “Are you OK?" is further compounded when written via text or email. During this time lapse, the American female, gay or straight, has lost the ability to imagine that the absentee has laundry to wash, groceries to purchase, receipts to organize, or books to read, or god forbid, work to do. The consequence of hearing, and even worse reading, the words "Are you OK?" on the normal red blooded American male and/or lesbian, is to retreat retreat retreat-usually with an intoxicating spirit.  I am singlehandedly leading the effort to spare the American female some grief by removing the ability to say these words in succession. I don't talk to my brother for weeks at a time and never does he start a conversation with "Are you OK"?  And I know he sleeps very well at night. So ladies, your silent or absent paramour has not fallen off the planet. We just have shit to do.