Hey You. YEAH YOU!!!

You would think looking at chicks all day online would be fun. I assure you it was not. It was not only exhausting, but it was frustrating. Jess was having the same issues in Baltimore as I was having in New York. And I swear we were not using the same material. We used every tool OK Cupid could throw at us. I mean in terms of proving our theory that these women really don't want to date, we struck gold. The problem is, experiments require repetition. Fruitless repetition. 

General Search:

We both had our age ranges that we preferred and that was basically it on the criteria part of the search. This means a pretty wide net could be cast. And oh did we throw that net out there. Endlessly reading these profiles. . . Getting to know their pets; their likes; dislikes; favorite foods; gardening techniques. We read all of this info trying to get to know these women. I have OCD. Could you imagine taking in all of this info for no fucking reason? I still remember yellowstone999 swears John Cusack is her favorite actor. Why do I remember this? All tolled, the general search was the most useless. I still haven't figure out why. There was one woman that I found during a general search that was in a word, HOT. In the immortal words of Rob Gordon [John Cusack yellowstone] in High Fidelity "you gotta punch your weight". This woman was clearly out of my league. If I saw her on the street, I would stop, stare, be rendered speechless and she wouldn't even notice me. I somehow, eventually, got the stones to send her a msg. It was simple. I didn't lose my mind. I just wanted to tell her she was beautiful. That's it. Not even a thank you from rjesquillin. Yeah you. I said your screen name. You are welcome and you are still beautiful. A thank you would not have been an invite for me to keep messaging you as you are way out of my weight class.

Quiver:

The Quiver is simple and ingenious actually. It tries to compel the user to message people, meet new people, dare I say date someone, by basically doing most of the work for you. The math nerds at OK Cupid found a way of taking the info from the questions you answer and other advance calculus shit I don't understand and created a formula that selects people you should be attracted to. Great. I'm lazy. Fire away. They send you three people and all you have to do is send a msg in order to fill up your quiver with new candidates. This part of the OK Cupid experience I liked because it really should work. It didn't for us. I did the whole experiment of messaging every single person in my Quiver for a month. SIGH! It was basically like a General Search, but one less step.

QuickMatch:

Finally we get to the fun part of OK Cupid. When you visit a person's profile, they know it. You are considered a visitor. This comes in handy for a lot of funny reasons. For some reason, if you begin to engage with someone, sometimes they visit your profile. On a daily basis. Like it is facebook and you are going to change your status to "in a relationship" after one conversation. To spare you of the stalker label, you can use quickmatch. You see an abbreviation of their profile and pictures and you quickly rate the person 1-5 stars without being considered a visitor. If you rate the person 4-5 stars, it is logged in the OK Cupid database. If the same person goes on quickmatch and rates you similarly, you get an email stating you are a match email the person! So I emailed a cute girl, in my weight class, smart and funny because we are apparently a [quick]match and I got nothing. I was perplexed because I got an email that michmich JUST picked me five minutes prior. Alrighty then.

No matter what method is used to find compatible mates, I would say 10% of the women respond. That's pretty low in my opinion. If you go to a bar and approach a woman, she will most likely give you five minutes. What I don't understand is why women online refuse to give you that equivalent. We utilize our profiles like an invisible wall and there is no quiver on earth that can penetrate it.