I am exhausted at this point. Navigating the world of online dating and mixing in real life crazy personalities in the flesh was wiping me out. It was becoming a full time job. Deciphering cryptic, drug induced messages and then indecisive vague slightly come hither weak attempts at flirting was getting to me. It was time for a break. On the heels of the Arlene debacle, this break was perfectly timed.
Admitting defeat in this situation wasn't actually a failure. We set out to prove lesbians and online dating doesn't really work and I would say theory: proven. Meanwhile, I took a break and studied for the LSAT. Something nice and boring and predictable . . . . Some girl started messaging me. For the purposes of the OKCupid Chronicles, let's call her the Black Panther. After a few quick messages, she invited me to a Lesbian Spoken Word performance. I had never seen one, so I was happy to go. I hadn’t intended to log this date for the OKCupid Chronicles, so how is it that I am now in front of my computer writing about the Black Panther? Wait for it…..
The BP was working the event, so I met her there. Let me go off on a tangent quickly. Jess and I are like lesbian unicorns. We love all races; sizes; we don't do gender roles. The only thing we really require is intelligence. Having said that, at the Lesbian Spoken Word event, I died and went to heaven. I wish Jess was there with me. An audience full of lesbians of all colors. Beautiful beautiful lesbians. Tall ones for Jess; tiny ones for me. The BP working the event gave me the freedom to look at each and every dyke in there. I began to muse about why I think organically meeting a person is the best way to go. You just have to be in a place to meet said lesbians and I thought this was it.
All of the performances were really great. Afterwards there was going to be a round table discussion. A what?! It's so lesbian to have a nightcap of education after entertainment. So I'm sitting here knowing that my initial thoughts were too good to be true. First question from the audience: " White people should not be allowed in a colored dyke artist space. Why don't you have someone at the door barring them from entering?" Holy mother fuck I stumbled upon a black panther meeting. I start looking around expecting there to be many, many dissenting voices, but I was apparently it and since I was outnumbered, I STFU. I look at the Black Panther that I was there to meet and she didn't even blink. I looked around to ALL of the beautiful white faces and they seemed to have quiet concern, as if they had experienced this before and were going to take it for the greater cause. This cause, I'm unaware of. I'm completely offended and confused to be honest with you. This went on for a half an hour. A half an hour bashing whitey seems like a fucking eternity. Afterwards, they spent twenty minutes saying Transsexuals should not be allowed to perform at the Colored Dyke artist space. You see, Transsexuals by no longer getting their period, have opted out of the opportunity to perform at The COLORED DYKE ARTIST SPACE. They talked about vaginas and periods at length. I started to zone out. OK, the tally so far is 1. No whites can watch the performances and B. no transsexuals can perform at the COLORED DYKE ARTIST SPACE. I hope we are all on the same page now.
After the show, my mind was fucking blown. The Black Panther asked if I wanted to get a drink. Hell fucking yes. I had to find out if she was a racist asshole like all of her friends I had just met. So as we are walking, I asked her if she agreed with the sentiment at the theater. She gave me some round the world bullshit answer and never got to a point. We arrive at a bar and I call her on her shit by saying: "My best friend is white. I am a fair skinned black person, so take that as you will. What was said at the show was not only wrong, but shocking. Do you know that person doing the lights and mixing the sound was white? The white people sitting in those seats did not take them from black people. The black people were not there. This is exactly why I don't do 'Colored' this or 'Colored' that. That whole situation was appalling." Then she explained the anti-trans thing and it was equally as stupid. Some twitter fight ensued and the happy letters of the LGBTQIA began to have alphabet wars. Talk about me misjudging the room for god's sake. Needless to say, I couldn't exactly be friends with the Black Panther.
Allow me to ascend my soapbox for just a moment. What I experienced on that night is a gross example of the pervasive nature of online dating. People won't mingle out of their race. It pains me to type that, but it is true. I have dreads and I'm black and there were many people I saw on OKCUPID that had similar interests to myself and they never responded. There could be many reasons for this. Who knows. Clearly that insular feeling of community is not exclusive to the online dating scene. It is in bars and clubs and book stores and Starbucks. It is a shame. I don't think I brought up the race of my dates thus far because it doesn't matter to me. It was easier to get someone of our own race to respond to a message on OKC and that goes for both Jess and me. I hope I never experience this again and I hope you never will.
No comments:
Post a Comment