Finally, Jess and I pulled a term out of our collectives assess [more like pulled it out of the urban dictionary] that accurately describes both of us. Along the path of "thon", "hu", "xe", "sie" and "hir" was a word (thanks Ingrid Jungermann and the phenomenal episode of F to 7th http://vimeo.com/60981317) that captures the spirit of two women living in two different cities of two different ethnicities and two different ages who have never ever come out. We are coming out as Cissexual. Whatever the hell that means. We have to make this stick. Finally a movement we can get behind! Cissexual is used to describe related types of gender identity where an individual's self-perception of their gender matches their sex. Yeah, that's what we have been saying all along.
Y'A
I assure you I am out. I promise. And if I invite you to a work function, you will not be introduced as a cousin. The truth of the matter is, I never came out to my family. I would like to take this opportunity to posthumously come out to my mother. Her portion of the dialogue will be based on evidence that I have collected since birth. Evidence like: I told my mother I wanted to wear skirts in 7th grade and her response was "are you serious? why? well ok . . ." So here goes:
Me: Mom I want to tell you something.
Mom: you are too old to ask for money.
Me: no money. I want to tell you I am cissexual.
Mom: what the hell is that? you aren't gay anymore?
Me: Thanks Mom for letting me get that out.
I have come out more times than I can remember: co-workers, aunts, uncles, cousins, bosses, my sister, acquaintances, the bank rep at ING Direct who added my ex’s name to my savings account, and many random people I’ve met at the bar. However, I have never come out to my parents. Not in the traditional way at least. The clues were laid out in front of them like a Hansel and Gretel trail of pastel Easter M&M’s leading to I’m GAY! My ex and I were together for TEN years and not once in those ten years did I bring home a beard. We lived in a one bedroom apartment, with one bed! I haven’t come out because I really don’t feel it’s necessary. I’ve never been a rainbow armband gay, carrying the torch for the entire LGBTQIAA community and coming out to all I meet. I am far more subtle. I will introduce my gf as my gf, I will use her name when talking about my weekend plans. If I were to come out to my mom, who has met my current gf and given her the silent nod of approval (silent because it’s only perceived in my head) it would go something like this:
Me: I want to tell you something.
Mom: Ok…..did you say you were meeting your sister this weekend? Is she working this weekend?
Me: No, she isn’t, Mom I’m not coming to Jersey this weekend. That’s not what I’m talking about.
Mom: Your father wanted to ask you about your tires, I forget what he said…..something about your tires and he has a coupon, I think for a tire rotation…
Me: I don’t’ live in that state, why would I want a coupon for a tire rotation in Jersey? Mom! I’m cissexual.
Mom: Hmmm, I really thought your sister said she was coming down this weekend. Can you text her?
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