My Person

My best friend wishes nothing but the best for me. That is to say as long as my best isn't better than her best. Truthfully, her best isn't that great right now. I have never met anyone who wished unmitigated, swift and abrupt misery on EVERYONE. I get it. She pumped out three babies back to back "accidentally" before the age of 30. I say “accidentally” because she wanted to join the FBI and she ended up pregnant with my goddaughter. But by God, she kept sitting on that toilet seat, getting pregnant. Again and again. She is just the latest and most painful example of what I call the "7 Year Itch" between my friends and me. We grow apart, but more adeptly, I grow away. I lost my patience with her because of her sister. She hates her sister. I can't even accurately nail down why. Her sister, who was a devout heroin addict and a devout lesbian, became a devout Christian and married some dude named Tom. We really still don't know why. Well, her sister informed their dad that Tom began beating the crap out of her. I was floored by my bestie relaying this story with such glee. I informed her that her sister, living in a state with no familial support, is a victim of domestic violence. I asked simply "don't you care about your sister being abused?" She said "allegedly". I said simply "I think that's fucked up". I needed a break. I needed a break from her wishing all of the people we know would suffer heartache. Unprovoked mind you. One day I told her I was going on a date and she asked me why. I responded "Why??" She said "Yeah, why bother?" I didn't get it at all. Her level of misery is that which I cannot comprehend. She lives in Kansas for God's sake, so I get that part, but why do I have to be miserable? My sympathy all but dissipated when she told me the paternal grandfather of her children has terminal cancer and she really didn't give a fuck. On the other side of the country, I am happy, I am good. There are joys I just can't share with her and that's sad. A few months ago I wanted to talk to her as my best friend. I needed counsel and looked to her. She was foaming at the mouth with absolute delight that I was having a difficult time. I was done. I told Jess I wasn’t going to talk to her until Flag Day. Jess replied “What’s Flag Day?” The months fly by and Flag Day finally comes. I texted her “How are you?” and she answered with some despondent ass story and I thought “Yup”.