Disaster of Cold Dating

My next date will remain nameless and since her nickname could elicit some hard feelings, she will be known as BG. BG messaged me first.  It was completely random, included all of three sentences, and was an invitation for a date.  Normally I would never consider meeting someone right out of the gate, without some vetting, but Y’A was on my ass about my contribution to the research, so I warily accepted.  The date was a movie, free because she had received screening passes and didn’t know anyone else who liked horror movies. Cool.  We agreed to meet at the entrance to the theatre before the movie.  I’ll admit I was pretty anxious – we’d had no online chit chat whatsoever, so I had no idea who the hell was walking through those double doors to meet me. This whole date was rubbing my OCD the wrong way and on top of the fact that I literally knew nothing about her, she was fucking late.  The whole thing was starting to smell a bit like the Craigslist killer….but I digress. I waited and waited and waited, and then waited some more. Every single person had been seated and still I waited. I wouldn’t have minded so much if she didn’t show, but she had the tickets so I would have been SOL on the horror movie screening. Not cool. She rang my phone and explained that her boss had kept her after work, her bus was late, she was so sorry, but she’d be there soon. 

Did she just say she was on the bus?  From where?  In Baltimore? Oh shit.

When I found out later where she worked I will admit that taking a bus (several busses) to the theatre location was really an act of sheer will. It’s just that damn far and inconvenient.

When she enters the lobby there is no time for anything but quick introductions and I swear if I had gone to pee at that moment I would not have been able to pick her out of a crowd. We are sitting in the first row and swear to god my OCD was starting to itch. There was no time for inane conversation or the preliminary questions you’d normally ask upon first meeting someone.  We were Cold Dating and at this moment I realized why people seek out love online. SO YOU GET TO KNOW SOMEONE FIRST!  We watched the movie in silence (well, that’s not really out of the ordinary) – actually she watched the movie and I spent a good amount of time looking at her, sizing her up, reading body language. Creepy for sure, but since we didn’t pre-game at a bar as I would normally do, I was left with cutting my eyes at her in the front row.  

I hate to admit it, but I did give her a ride home after the movie. My bestie had made me swear not to allow a stranger in my car, but it seemed kind of mean to make her wait an hour for a bus when she only lived about 15 minutes from my apartment. This was the golden opportunity to TALK. I should have known it was gaining speed down the hill when she couldn’t tell me how to get to her abode, though she had lived in the city her entire life. She had a difficult time conversing about any number of topics I was throwing out to her – politics, religion, life goals, college, career. It was more of an interview process than a flowing conversation. I learned that she worked at Rite Aid, was religiously affiliated, somewhat homophobic, had no feelings about politics, and was not over her ex. Awesome. 

There was no love match made that night, or in the subsequent handful of times we hung out. Plans with BG meant that I would feel compelled to pick her up then spend the next few hours wondering why I was trying to forge a friendship with someone whose lack of verbosity made me create whole conversations with myself!  If it weren’t for Cold Dating, we would not have found ourselves in this position. Through the magic of the interweb, I would have learned enough nothing to have made an informed decision to avoid the date! Alas, this is what happens when one reverts to the old model of blind dating. What did she bring to the table? It turns out that free movie ticket was about it.